Why am I so weak?
by DurararaLovah
Summary: Izaya is sick and shizuo takes care of him...A sad story...sorry for any mistakes and crappy summary.
1. Chapter 1

Izaya is sick and shizuo is taking care of him. Warning: characters are OOC. I don't know where I'm going with this story. It might be a one shot but idk...Whatever you guys want.

Izaya and I have been together for six years now...But, a couple of months ago, izaya got sick. We don't know what's wrong with him yet, but shinra and the other doctors are still trying. I know he can pull through with this though.

"Izaya...izaya wake up.." I heard Shizu-chan calling me, and I slowly opened my tired eyes to look at my worried boyfriend. I hate that look. "Yeah..? I'm awake.." I said in a weak voice. Hey, my stomach hurt really bad you know? "Here.." He put a hand on my back and head, and lifted me into a sitting position on my bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked. "Mmm...Fine...my stomach hurts..." "You're probably hungry, ill get you something to eat, you haven't eaten since yesterday morning." "Okay." I nodded. "By the way, Shinra is coming over later to check up on you." "Got it..." I mumbled. I hate this. I hate making Shizu-Chan worry.

I hate myself for being so weak.

"Good morning izaya!" Shinra chimed, placing a couple of bags onto the floor. I nodded in response. "How are you feeling?" "Fine.." I responded, looking at shizuo as he walked into the room carrying a bowl of ramen. Yum. He placed a small folding table in front of me, on my bed and put the ramen on it. My mouth was watering. "You sure you're fine? You weren't so good yesterday..." "I'm izaya orihara, takes more than a sickness to take me down. He looked at me pitifully. How I hate that look... "Let me just run a few tests." Ignoring him, I reached a weak hand up to the bowl and grabbed the chop sticks. My hand was shaking, barely able to hold it. And it _scared me. __I looked over to see Shizu-chan staring at me. _

_I looked back at the bowl. Then my hand. _I really am _pathetic. __"Here" Shizu-chan said, grabbing the chop sticks from my hand and scooped up some noodles, blowing on them gently. I opened my mouth and let him feed me. It was good. "Okay, here we go izaya." I heard shinra say and saw him coming toward me with a needle. "Why do I need that?" I asked. "I'm just taking a blood sample, so I can give it to the other doctors. I nodded and my face Was suddenly turned away with Shizu-Chans hand. He'd always do this. So I don't look at the needle filling up with my sick blood. He kissed my head, and down to my neck. "Izaya... Does it hurt?" "No...I'm okay." I smiled weakly. I don't want him to worry. _

_Once the needle was out, shinra stood back and smiled. "Good job." I'm not three years old. "Okay, so ill stay here with you guys for a couple of hours to make sure everything's okay." "Okay" Shizuo stood up and carried the bowl back to the kitchen. "Mmm..." I moaned, closing my eyes half way. Shinra stood next to my bed. I looked up at him. "I need to go to the bathroom." He smiled and nodded, and went to the kitchen to get shizuo. _

_I looked at izaya and my heart felt like it was being stomped on...He looked so pale and weak. I put my hand on his back and helped him slide to the side of the bed. My hand was slapped. "I can do this by myself...! He whined. "Um, izaya, let us help you. You can get hurt!" shinra gave him a worried look. "No, I'm fine." He announced and stood up slowly and hunched over. It hurt him to stand up straight. I felt my eyes water looking at my lover like this. He took a wobbly step forward, then another one, with me and shinra standing on both sides of him. He grabbed onto the knob of the door and leaned onto it for support. I picked him up. "Shizu-chan...No... I can do this by myself...!" He whined, but I ignored it. I'm not letting him get hurt._

_Stupid Shizu-Chan...I can do things. He set me down and I took off my pants and sat on the toilet. With Shizu-Chan turning around to give me privacy. After that, I threw up all the ramen I ate. I felt shizuo and shinra patting my back and rubbing my hair trying to comfort me. It hurt. It all hurt really bad. My head, throat, stomach all hurt at once. I coughed. _

_"Shi...shizuo...shizuo..." I kept repeating and I felt him pick me up and wipe my face off. My head was hanging off of his shoulder. Everything was dizzy. "I'm here izaya...I'm not leaving..." I heard him repeat. My head was tilted back and I felt a liquid being poured down my throat by shinra...'medicine..' I thought. I was suddenly on the bed again, Covers to my thighs, and Shizu-chan holding me, my face was in his chest and his arm was my pillow. I opened my eyes. I wanted to see shizuo. "Shizuo...don't leave... Please..." _

_"I won't.." I responded. I felt tears coming out of my eyes..I quickly wiped them away. I'm so scared. I won't lose my izaya. Izaya moaned, trying to stay awake from the medicine. "Shizuo... I don't want to die...I want to live...I love you, I don't want to leave! I'm scared!" He yelled, gripping my shirt and digging his face into the crook of my neck. I held him tighter. "Izaya, it's okay. I swear. I won't let you go, you'll be fine." I wouldn't let him see my tears in fear he thinks I'm lying or something. He weakly pulled himself up and kissed my lips. I kissed back, pulling him closer. If that was even possible. After a couple of seconds he pulled away and looked around the room with tears running down his cheeks. "Izaya..what's w-wrong?" I stuttered. I'm so scared. "Where...where are you Shizu-chan?!" "W-what? Izaya!" I grabbed his hand and put it on my cheek. "I'm right here, I won't Leave I promise!"_

_"Oh..." He sighed. "I can't see anymore..." _

_Tears were spilling all over my face, watching him like this. I hugged him tight and I started bawling. "Izaya! Izaya! It's okay! I love you! Don't forget it, please..." His head fell down onto my arm and his eyes were half lidded. "I won't Shizu-chan.." He chuckled weakly. "How can I? I love you more..more than you can imagine ...and I hate myself for being so weak.." _

_And his eyes closed. _

_No more smirk or smile._

_No more adorable laugh. _

_I cried, I cried so hard. Pulling him close and screaming his name. "IZAYA! Izaya! Wake up please!" I knew he was gone and there was nothing i can do about it. This Is all my fault. _

_Ill see you in the afterlife, And Ill always love you. _

_Izaya._

_THIS MADE ME CRY. I don't even know why I would write this. I'm a sick and cruel person._


	2. Anger

I completely ran out of ideas. I'm trying hard now, lets just see what I come up with. C: ok so some things might be wrong because I never went to a mental asylum. :0 It's raining now so lets go GET PUMPED!

I woke up in my white bed as usual, but shizuo and shinra weren't there. I looked around slowly, taking in my surrounding as if I never saw them before. Everything was so bland. Yuck. I really wanted to go outside. I got up from my bed and sat on the floor, which was sadly more comfortable than that stale bed. Where is shizuo? He said he would always be here? I sighed. I sound like a school girl. I got up and hesitantly put my hand on the door handle, that lead me to the hallway. Locked. Of course. I sighed as I couldn't look through the window of the door, it was too high up. I smirked to myself. There's always a way out, I'm izaya orihara for gods sake! I kicked at the door, it didn't even creak. A fear washed over me. Where is everyone? Have they finally left me here?

I told you. I flinched as I tried to ignore the voice. Izaya. Give into me. You can't fight it. I nodded hesitantly, my rust colored eyes open wide. They left you. You can't trust anyone in this world, you'll just get hurt. "But..-" Don't speak. You have to get out before they take your power away. My power away? I'm a god. That's impossible. I kicked at the door several more times, the kicks turning into punches, eventually turning into a full blown tantrum. I stopped thrashing as the door suddenly opened, making me almost fall. "Izaya?" Shizuo questioned. "What's wrong?" Shinra quickly followed In behind him and shut the door. "Izaya," he spoke. "We have your medication." Medication for what? "This is just to make sure you stay calm, and help your body relax. You need to take one a day for now." He shook the bottle. "They're not that big, they're-" I cut him off. "How did you manage to take my power away?" He blinked at my sudden question. "What?" I stepped closer as he took a step back, and shizuo stepped forward. "Tell me. You put me in here, now you expect me to take pills? How did you do this?" I swung my fist at shinra, missing by an inch and kicking and scratching as Shizu-chan pulled me away. "You can't do this me!" I yelled. Shinra looked at me, startled. Shizuo wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug as we slowly sunk to the floor.

"I'm your superior! I WOULD RATHER DIE THEN BECOME AS WEAK AS YOU!" I bellowed as Shizu-chan hugged to me tighter. I let my head sag down to look at the floor. He turned me around, pulling me into another hug as he patted my back. **Come on. You have to try harder then that. Giving up already? Showing emotion? Weak. You're becoming a human. **My eyes widened is realization. I am? "Disgusting..." I mumbled. "Why do you say that, flea?" I didn't answer him. I moved my arms up to grip his shirt, leaning my head on his shoulder.


End file.
